No Bells, No Choirs, No Bullshit!
Let’s get this out of the way early: I like some aspects of Christmas such as the music and imagery. And I loathe other aspects such as the commercialization.
And what I really, really despise is being endlessly shouted at by sleigh bells, novelty lyrics, or another forced sing-along that sounds like it was written in a boardroom.
So this is not that list.
This is another ten, mostly lesser-known songs, that breed misery. Part One was pretty upbeat. Part two is full on depression!
Yes, I can tolerate this is small Yuletide dosages but there comes a point where I have to run for Christmas songs without the tat.
These are Christmas songs (or Christmas-adjacent songs) for people who still have to get the bus home in the dark, who feel a bit weird by mid-December, and who don’t need reminding to be festive every thirty seconds.
No Slade.
No Wizzard.
No Carey.
Just songs that feel like Christmas — without trying to sell it to you.
🎄 1. LCD Soundsystem – Christmas Will Break Your Heart
Possibly the most honest Christmas song ever written.
New York winter. Emotional fatigue. Relationships cracking under the weight of expectation.
It doesn’t sparkle — it sags. And that’s exactly why it works.
🎄 2. Cocteau Twins – Frosty the Snowman
Yes, really.
They also recorded a similar version of Winter Wonderland…
Stripped of novelty, bells, and irony, this becomes something strangely beautiful and fragile. Elizabeth Fraser sings like she’s halfway between a dream and hypothermia.
If only they’d gone the whole hog and produced an entire Christmas album!
Proof that Christmas doesn’t need lyrics you can understand.
🎄 3. Low – Just Like Christmas
This one feels like walking home at night while everyone else is inside somewhere warm.
Quiet. Detached. Slightly uncomfortable.
A Christmas song for people who don’t entirely trust happiness.
Low always understood winter better than most.
🎄 4. The National – Santa Clara
Not a Christmas song.
But it sounds like one — if your Christmas involves insomnia, reflection, and staring at the ceiling at 3am.
Bleak in a very middle-aged, quietly defeated way. Which I mean as a compliment.
🎄 5. Joni Mitchell – River
This might be the greatest anti-Christmas Christmas song ever written.
“I wish I had a river I could skate away on” remains one of the most devastating opening lines of any seasonal song.
Snowy piano. Emotional regret. No fake cheer in sight.
🎄 6. Phoebe Bridgers – If We Make It Through December
Merle Haggard via emotional collapse.
Working-class anxiety, financial dread, and the quiet hope of just getting through Christmas rather than enjoying it.
Phoebe makes it sound like December is something you survive, not celebrate.
Very relatable.
🎄 7. Belle and Sebastian – O Come O Come Emmanuel
Soft, reverent, and completely uninterested in bombast.
This feels like Christmas at dusk — when the lights go on, the shops are closing, and the day finally shuts up for a bit.
One of the few moments where Christmas music feels gentle instead of aggressive.
🎄 8. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Fifteen Feet of Pure White Snow
This is Christmas viewed through the fog of wine, memory, and impending doom.
Snow as isolation.
Winter as punishment.
Nick Cave doing Nick Cave things.
Perfectly uncomfortable.
🎄 9. Tracey Thorn – Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Probably the best version of this song because she doesn’t pretend it’s happy.
All the melancholy is left intact.
No forced uplift.
Just quiet realism and adult resignation.
“Tinsel and Lights” is one of my go to Christmas albums.
🎄 10. The Smiths – I Won’t Share You
Not a Christmas song. Most certainly not a Christmas song! Would have been tremendous if The Smiths had made a Christmas record though!
But it feels like one — especially if your Christmas is spent overthinking relationships and feeling slightly detached from the room you’re in.
Which, let’s be honest, happens a lot.
I always turn to this bittersweet final track off the final album and it makes me think of winter and snow and Morrissey desperately trying like Christmas.
I can be strange like that.
Final Thoughts
Christmas music doesn’t have to:
- Jingle
- Shout
- Beg you to have fun
Sometimes it just needs to sit with you while you wait for January.
If you’re building a December playlist that doesn’t make you want to lob the speaker out of the window, start here.
The Listening Log 
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