🎄Five Reasons The British Moan About Christmas Music.

The Listening Log

Why We Pretend to Hate Christmas Songs (But Secretly Don’t)

Let’s get this out of the way:
Us Brits love nothing more than moaning about Christmas music.

I mean we could win the moaning Olympics hands down anyway (and the queue Olympics) but when it comes to Christmas and Christmas tunes, we are truly in a league of our own.

It’s our seasonal sport.
Some people enjoy winter walks.
Some enjoy mulled wine.
We enjoy loudly declaring, “If I hear Last Christmas one more time, I swear…”

Nobody enjoys a good whinge more than yours truly.

I have awards for moaning.

And yet—
There we are, humming it in the Aldi queue like it’s embedded in our DNA.

We claim we hate Christmas songs.
But we absolutely do not.
Not really.
Not even close.

So why the pretence?

Let’s unpack it.

🎅 Reason 1: It’s a Very British Thing to Do

We are a nation built on:

  • griping about the weather
  • rolling our eyes at joy
  • waiting in queues
  • making a joke at our own expense
  • pretending not to care about things we very clearly care about

So when Christmas music arrives—loud, glittery, enthusiastic—we react in the only way we know how:

“Oh God, not this again.”

Inside?

We’re already tapping our foot and picturing Noddy Holder in a huge fake fur coat shouting “It’s Christmaaaas!”

We can’t help it. It’s instinct.

🎧 Reason 2: We’ve All Been Traumatised by Retail Playlists

If you’ve ever worked in retail, hospitality or—heaven forbid—a supermarket in December, you’ve heard Christmas songs the way POWs hear helicopter blades.

I get fed up just wandering around a store this time of year let alone being subjected to eight hours plus of Christmas songs torture.

You remember the exact moment All I Want For Christmas Is You came on loop for the fifth time in an hour.

You’ve seen grown adults cry in Homebase while Lonely This Christmas echoed off the laminate flooring.

And yet…

The second you’re safely out of that job?
You slide a festive playlist onto Spotify as if nothing ever happened.

Stockholm Syndrome, but with sleigh bells.

🎁 Reason 3: Christmas Songs Are Actually… Quite Good

We don’t like to admit this because it sounds uncool, but let’s be honest: the festive canon is stacked.

  • Fairytale of New York — a masterpiece
  • Last Christmas — emotional damage wrapped in synth
  • Christmas Wrapping — chaotic brilliance
  • Step Into Christmas — Elton at full glittery strength
  • I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday — catchier than most modern pop singles

These songs aren’t just “good for Christmas.”
They’re good, full stop.

If Slade released Merry Xmas Everybody tomorrow, it would still be a smash.

🌟 Reason 4: Christmas Music Hits the Nostalgia Gland

You don’t even have to like the songs.

You hear them and suddenly you’re:

  • 8 years old
  • in Woolworth
  • covered in glitter from a school nativity
  • holding a Band Aid picture disc
  • hoping the tree lights don’t set the tinsel on fire again

Christmas songs are emotional shortcuts.

Two seconds of a jingle bell and you’re time-travelling.

No wonder we pretend to hate them—
feelings are embarrassing.

🎄 Reason 5: It’s The Only Time of Year Music Takes Over Everything

For one month, music is unavoidable.

Not optional.
Not background noise.
Not “something to put on when you’re cooking.”

It’s everywhere.

Shops.
Cars.
Restaurants.
Shopping malls.
Your neighbour’s garden light display that should probably be reported to the council.

We complain because it’s overwhelming.

But deep down, it’s sort of magnificent.

How often does any music—any music—connect millions of people at once?

Never. Except December.

🎶 And Here’s the Truth…

We say we hate Christmas songs because it’s fun to moan.

We say we hate Christmas songs because we’ve heard them too many times.

We say we hate Christmas songs because admitting we actually enjoy them feels a bit… sentimental.

But when the right one comes on at the right moment?

We smile.
We hum.
We sing.
Sometimes we even full-on belt it out in the kitchen like we’re headlining Jools Holland’s Hootenanny.

We don’t hate Christmas songs.

We’re just British.

🎼 Next time someone says “I can’t stand Christmas music”…

Watch what happens when Fairytale, Wham! or Chris Rea comes on.

Their foot will tap.
Their shoulders will wiggle.
Their face will betray them.

Because deep down?

We love it.
We always have.
We always will.

Comments

Leave a comment