Christmas music is a battlefield.
On one side: joy, nostalgia, sleigh bells.
On the other: commercialism, Noddy Holder yelling at you like a foghorn, and that moment you realise you’ve heard “Last Christmas” more times than you’ve heard your own name.
But fear not, brave listener.
Today’s festive playlist comes with one simple promise:
Five Christmas songs that don’t make you hate life.
Songs that won’t make you hide behind a stack of Quality Street tins at Tesco.
Songs that don’t feel like punishment for crimes you didn’t commit.
Here’s today’s highly scientific, deeply emotional, not-at-all biased selection…
🎄 1. Christmas Wrapping – The Waitresses (1981)
If Christmas was a film, this would be the opening credits.
It’s witty, effortlessly cool, a bit chaotic, and strangely relatable — the true spirit of the season for anyone who’s ever said:
“I am absolutely NOT doing Christmas this year,”
…before immediately doing Christmas.
That slinky bassline, the spoken-word sass, the “too much trouble, surely?” vibes — it’s perfect festive pop for people who secretly hate festive pop.
Still my favourite Christmas song if prompted at knifepoint. And never fails to put a beaming smile across my face.
Amazingly only got to number 45 in the hit parade. The Waitresses deserved more.
Slap this on while pretending you’re not wrapping presents at 1am.
🎅 2. Merry Xmas Everybody – Slade (1973)
I know, I know. One of the more overplayed Christmas efforts but I never get bored with it. A big factor is the nostalgia angle but also I suppose I only listen to it one month of the year.
It’s big, it’s bold, it’s bloody fantastic. Typical of Slade.
The song that built an entire British holiday.
The wallpaper of December.
The Godfather of Shouty Christmas classics.
Look — we’ve all heard it eight million times.
We’ve all shouted “IT’S CHRIIIIIIIIISTMAAAS!” in a voice that definitely wasn’t as good as we thought.
But when that opening guitar riff kicks in, resistance is futile.
It’s tradition. Like mince pies, awkward office parties, and Mariah Carey sporting her skimpy Santa costume.
Noddy Holder and Jim Lea should probably receive royalties from Santa himself.
🎷 3. Go Power At Christmas Time – James Brown (1966)
Now this is how you do a Christmas song without selling your soul to Hallmark. James Brown did some fantastic Christmas albums. And this cut is the best of them for me.
James Brown didn’t just record festive music — he funked Christmas into submission.
“Go Power at Christmas Time” sounds like Santa dropped his sleigh keys and The Godfather of Soul picked them up, turned the workshop into a nightclub, and demanded everyone dance.
Horn stabs.
Sweat-drenched groove.
Christmas spirit, but with swagger.
If this doesn’t improve your mood, seek medical assistance.
🌨️ 4. Ring Out, Solstice Bells – Jethro Tull (1976)
An unexpected seasonal gem.
It’s not trying to be Christmassy — it just is.
The thought of Ian Anderson and his wide eyes with wonky dancing and trusty flute always brings back fuzzy Yuletide memories.
Jethro Tull somehow created a festive tune that sounds both ancient and absolutely bonkers.
It’s basically:
“Let’s celebrate winter like medieval wizards!”
Flutes?
Bells?
A melody that makes you want to build a fire and summon the spirit of midwinter?
Yes please.
Also: proof that Christmas songs don’t all need sleigh bells and Mariah-level melodrama.
🏙️ 5. Christmas in Hollis – Run DMC (1987)
Hip-hop Christmas excellence.
No irony. No novelty. Just pure fun.
When I first heard this, I was blown away. And it still sounds fresh today. I adored Run DMC, and this ditty is an absolute belter.
“Christmas in Hollis” blends storytelling, swagger and festive mischief in a way nobody else has ever quite matched.
It’s smart, cool, and catchy — the only Christmas track that makes you want to put a big gold chain on the Christmas tree.
Plus: any song featuring both Santa and collard greens deserves its spot in festive history.
It’s Christmas in the Queens borough — and honestly, that sounds far more fun than half the office parties I’ve ever attended.
🎁 Final Thoughts: Christmas Without the Cringe
December can be overwhelming — musically, emotionally, and logistically.
But a good festive playlist can work miracles:
- A sprinkle of nostalgia
- A dash of funk
- A blast of glam rock
- A flute solo that sounds like a pagan ritual
- And a hip-hop classic to finish the job
These five songs don’t just avoid the usual Christmas cheese — they elevate the whole month.
Stick them on, grab a brew (or a sherry), and let Christmas feel fun again.
Which festive tracks save your sanity every December?
Let me know — I’m always collecting ammo for next year’s playlist.
I’ll dig out another five same time next week!
The Listening Log 
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